The Battle

And life goes on...it's been a while since I posted, but I am happy to say that I have been doing quite well.  I have learned that when I am weak, I need to do my best to put myself in the best environment to help strengthen my resolve instead of weaken it.  If that means that I can't spend time with people when I might want to or I have to put limits on people, then so be it.  A couple of my sisters can't seem to get themselves to the point where they can even entertain trying to live healthier and I had to realize that if that means I can't spend as much time with them because their habits weaken me, then that's what I have to do.  And I will.

So, I've been fighting and doing well.  My WI two weeks ago I was down 4 lbs and last week's WI I was down 3.4 lbs.  Past history tells me that after 2 big weeks in a row, this week may not be great.  I think I am prepared for that.  I hope to at least stay the same though, that would be great.  So short term goal is to not be hard on myself if my WI is not great tomorrow.

I'm working out some, but not enough so I should try to do that more.  Hopefully over the holidays I will do more of that while I am at home.

So...it's been 2 years since I seriously started my battle with my weight again and since then, I'm down 50.6 lbs, which is fantastic, but about a year ago I was down 66 lbs, so my first goal is to get back there, that would really feel great, then I can go even further.  The thought of that is very exciting!

I'm looking forward to my holidays, to Christmas and to spending time with family.

Good to be Home

On Saturday I flew to Edmonton - it was kind of nice, I seemed to fit on the airplane a bit better than I thought I would, so that was a bonus.  Don't get me wrong, it could be a whole hell of a lot better!

I had such a great visit with my niece Ayla and her family.  It was so nice to have a very low key visit with her, Rob, Aiden and Atreyu.  I had a fantastic time and it went by way too fast.  They took me to their fitness centre, which doesn't really describe it at all because this place is awesome and there really isn't anything you can't do there.  I loved walking on the track and even tried to run it once.  I made it but man it was hard, I had to hold on just to get it done, but I loved it and I love the idea of doing something like that and being able to measure how much farther you can go each time you get out there.

After that I had training for a day and a half.  That was good too.  Monday night I went out for supper with some of the other girls I work with in the region and it was a blast, it was so nice to socialize with them.  Tuesday I should have been home about 8:00 in the evening but my flight was delayed and it messed up the whole day.  I was on stand by for 3 different flights and ended up doing a shitload of walking in the airports going from place to place just to find out if I had a seat on different flights and then re-locating my luggage when it would arrive on a flight different than I did.  In the end I got home at 2:00 in the morning and my feet are so sore it's crazy.  I admit, people thought I was quite strange when I was walking around the Calgary airport in my socks for hours, lol.  But it hurt less so it was necessary.

Anyway, it's great to be home.  I spent the day today at home with Tiger (and caught up on The Biggest Loser finally).  Now I have a 2 day work week before the weekend.  I love that I ate wisely and even got some exercise while I was away.  Rob is a good cook! lol  I hope to have a good rest of the week and hopefully have a good weigh in on Monday.

Now it's time to watch Parenthood and have some popcorn :)

Flying

Well, I haven't worked out that much this week but I've been doing well with my eating so I am happy about that. 

Today I am flying to Edmonton, I can't wait to spend time with my family.  But...I kinda hate flying.  Not they flying part, but the "I'm too big to be comfortable on an airplane" part.

I hope that someday I love flying.

Good Day

Well, I've been struggling.  It's scary...I was doing so well and feeling so strong and then all of a sudden it was gone.  That eats at my confidence.  But today I finally had a really good day again, ate well and used my exercise bike and treadmill, so I am feeling good.  Other than not getting to bed at a decent time again, I know the lack of sleep isn't helping me.

But I'm gonna try to work out some more this week cause when I go to Alberta this weekend to see Ayla I don't wanna die if we do anything remotely physical, so I gotta work this week, lol.

I like myself a little more today.

Strength

It amazes me how good, how strong I feel right now.  I love it.  When I am not doing well with eating healthy, I try so hard to search for this strength and I just can't seem to find it.  I can't just flip a switch, even though that seems to be what happens when I go from good to bad.  It's beyond frustrating.  But right now I feel fortunate to be in a good head space and will do everything I can to keep that going as long as possible.



It's been almost 3 weeks since I started Weight Watchers again, it has worked quite well for me in the past and I am comfortable with it.  In my first two WI I have lost just over 5 lbs total, so that makes me happy.  I haven't been working out as much as I had hoped but I am just getting over a bad cold, so next week I will start again.

Last time I did WW I lost over 60 lbs, then I stopped counting and I gained back about 20 lbs over since last winter.  So I need to get back to where I was, that is important to me right now, then I will push beyond that.  I can't wait.


Every time I get on here I think about all that I have to say and it's too much, it overwhelms me, lol.

I will be back.

Where to start...

Well, I've never done anything like this before so I'm not really sure where to start.  So I will start with how I am feeling in the moment.

I have a headache.  Again.  And my husband is being crabby so that is making me crabby.  Luckily he went upstairs to nap so puppy and I have quiet time.

I am not sure where this blog is going to go, if anywhere, but largely it will be about my struggles with weight loss.  Long struggles with weight loss. 

Right now I have random thoughts running through my head...I am hungry (suppertime), my head hurts, I love my puppy, I am glad tmo is Friday even though I am not looking forward to the weekend, today is exactly 6 months until my 40th birthday.  I told myself I would be 40 and fabulous so I guess I have 6 months to work myself in that direction.

I'm going to go find something to eat...maybe will post again later if my head feels better...who knows?