Life :( and :)

I think I have been avoiding posting.  Life kind of went sideways at work for me and I've been very sad.  One of my co-workers died last week...she was the sweetest person ever.  Last year she was diagnosed with lung cancer from asbestos, it was a shock to her and all of us.  She went on sick leave and had chemo (it didn't work so they stopped), then had surgery to remove one of her lungs.  When she was recovered from that and radiation, she finally came back to work in November.  She looked fantastic!  And her treatment was very successful.  In March she came and told my boss and I that they found cancer in her other lung.  Seriously...we were so sad but she was so positive.  They had a treatment plan and it was all good.  She just left again on sick leave a couple of weeks ago.  I think she only had one chemo treatment, ended up with pneumonia and her remaining lung collapsed.  She hung on a couple more days and then that was it.  I know with everything I just said it sounds like it shouldn't have been a surprise but it truly was.  She has left a big hole here at work.  She worked here for over 20 years.  And in my role as administrator for the section so I had a few days that were quite difficult cause I wasn't able to stop thinking about her and focus on something else as it was my job to help get things in order, to draft the email to go out to all the staff letting them know that she had died, etc.  It's hard to see her empty workstation. At some point we will have to clean it out and perhaps let someone else sit there.  Too soon for that though. Anyway, the funeral was on Monday and a few days have gone past now so I feel more back to normal and I can finally tell the story without breaking down.  She will be missed.

I think because of that and it being my TOM I have been struggling with working out.  Haven't really done anything physical since Tiger and I went for a nice long walk to the dog park on the Saturday.  I have been eating okay though, so I am relieved about that.  Despite not being okay I haven't had any desire to sooth myself with food so that makes me happy.  And I am coming out on the other side and know things will get back to normal soon. 

Best news ever...I get to see Ayla this weekend!! :)  This started out as a super crappy week but is ending super awesome.  I can't wait to see her and the boys and Rob and to hang out and work out with them.  I will see them tomorrow...SO EXCITED!

I didn't lose any weight last week and feel like I likely won't this week either, but that's okay.  I'm okay.